Safe near Branson!

I was asleep in this great bed when the tornado hit Branson this morning.  Gretta called at 6:30 to see if I was alright.  It's been one call after another ever since then.  I went to bed early last night, so I got plenty of sleep, and I was blessed to not be blown out of bed during the night.  I guess Branson had a lot of damage, but I'm about 10 miles south of Branson, so all is good for me.  I've checked at The Suites, where I will go Friday and it's all in good shape there, too.  PTL!  The strip and the Landing took quite a beating from what I see on the news and on facebook.  It's odd.  I live in Tornado alley, but I've never seen or been in one.  We've had hail damage before, but that's all.  This is the second time I've been in Branson when there was a tornado here!  One time when we were here we had hail damage on our van.  It's amazing how life works.  I thank God for safety and for all of you who called to check on me this morning.  I thought I'd go ahead and post to let you all know that I'm okay and to thank those of you have have called or emailed.

That bed sleeps really, really good!  I thank God for a good night's sleep and ask Him to bless those who were hit hard.

Another nice, nice day.

Hope two pics won't complicate your viewing tonight.  I wanted to share a pic from my walk but also had to show you the puzzle I finished last night.  Walking and puzzling are good therapy for me!

My cousin, Suzanne, called me first thing this morning to tell me that she is coming on Thursday instead of Friday!  Her brother, Frank, is flying her in and it's supposed to rain on Friday, so it's safer to come in on Thursday!  Woohoo!  I thank God for the rain and the surprise early visit.  I'm so glad that I will have the opportunity to share this great condo with Suzanne, even if it's just for one night.  She can witness the move to another condo, too.  That's got to be a joke to watch!  We'll go back to The Suites at Fall Creek, which is also a very nice place.  Suzanne was my roommate in college and we've been close all our lives.  I can hardly wait!

A walk outside.

It was 58 here today; perfect for walking outside.  I love the walking sticks; they keep me steady and relieve some pressure off my lower back.  I sure never meant to replace holding Don's hand when I bought them; maybe God gave me the nudge to buy them last year because He knew the plan.

I had to balance the camera on a fallen tree, so I wasn't sure if this was working.  I wanted to get the condos across on the other point in the picture.  I have a week there; it's Emerald Point and I really love it there.  I won't be staying there this trip; I'll come back another time this year, I guess.

I don't know why the Internet connection is so bad here at night, but it's really sketchy.  Everything else is perfect.  So posting during the day is not such a bad thing.  Thanks for keeping up with me.  God bless you all.

A sleepy, itchy day.

This is the living room.  I'm really enjoying the fireplace.  I wish it were warmer, but if it was then I wouldn't use the fireplace, so I'm enjoying using it.  It makes it real cozy in here.  It's gas operated and I just flip a switch on the wall to turn it on or off; I like it easy!

I've found that for some reason the Internet is very shaky around here at night, so I'm posting during the day.  I may take a nap this afternoon; the antihistamines sure make me sleepy.   I thank God there is some relief for the running and itching that my eyes and throat and nose want to do when spring blows in here!  I stopped on my way to church this morning and bought anti-itch drops for my eyes.  I have some at home, but forgot to bring them.

I'm making great headway on the puzzle.  I chose the last 500 piece one that I had with me.  The next one will have to be 1000 unless I do a repeat.  My cousin, Suzanne is coming next week.  I think maybe we won't do a puzzle.  We'll see Branson and play cribbage when we're in the condo.  We'll see what she thinks.

Sleepy day.

This is a picture I got of the kitchen and dining area in this condo.  This is the first condo I've ever stayed in that has a side by side fridge!  To top it all off, it's the first side by side I've ever liked!  Mine at home has always been difficult to use and like.  This one is great, but it might be because it's only me here, so there's not that much food in it.  I like the freezer side, though, because all the shelves pull out like drawers.  Anyway, this is a very, very nice unit.

All the winds that have blown in here from the west have blown in something that is setting off my allergies.  I've had to take antihistamines and it makes me so sleepy!   I thank God that they work, though.  The itching and running would drive me crazy.

I started on the puzzle today and have the top edge all done.  I'm still sorting pieces.  I love working a puzzle. 

I'm publishing early today because last night I had a hard time keeping a connection.  Better early than to late and too sorry!

Today was a good day.

Meet one of my new best friends, Cart, as in luggage cart.  Man!  He is such a big help loading and unloading.  Why does one little grammy need all that stuff?  Pack rat on the move; that's me!  This is all the stuff I loaded into the car today, after I'd already taken down a load yesterday!

I came over to the new condo and it is really so beautiful.  I love it here.  I've done laundry and I'm going to take a bath and go to bed.  I took a bunch of pictures of this place and I'll post them on the blog over the next few days.  We had never stayed here, so this is a real treat for me.

I thought of something today.  I was really looking forward to having pomelos to eat while I'm here.  Every year I get pomelos to eat when I'm in Branson.  I've looked at every store and nobody has them this year.  If you enlarge this picture you'll see the note in the blue and black bag is my grocery list and the first thing listed was pomelo.  What I thought of is that as bad as I wanted pomelos to eat, I'm getting by without them.   I never have them at home or anywhere except here, but I eat just fine.  What struck me about that is that I really wanted Don to be here, but no matter how hard I look for him, he's not here.  I really wanted him to be at home, too, but he's not going to be there any more than a pomelo is.  I just have to get a handle on that.  I loved living in Japan, but I'm never going to live there, again.  I treasure the memories of 6 years there, but my life is not over because I can't live there.  I treasure the memories of 34 1/2 years of living with Don, but that's all I have anymore . . . only the memories.  My life goes on and I can treasure the memories, but I can't live with him anymore.  I'm working on it; I'm not anywhere near where I need to be, but I'm going in the right direction, I think.  I thank God for helping me get through this transition.  I couldn't do this without knowing that He is with me all the time and He's guiding me and showing me things that make sense to help me make sense out of my grief.

Another challenging technological day!

I did go walk with my friend Tread (Mill) today.   It was a gorgeous day and it would have been great at the lake, but I was wrestling with the tax people all morning and there just wasn't time.  I needed to pack the car as much as possible so it won't be such a big deal tomorrow.  This picture is one I got a stump to take of my yesterday.

I finally got the taxes submitted today.  Their program and my computer wouldn't speak to each other, so it was hectic, but we got it done.

I thank God that they are somewhat behind me.  I hope they just send me the return to sign next week instead of instigating some more wrestling.  Just don't get me started on the 'Tax Terrorism' that we have going on in this country!  Anyway, I've done all I can do.  I intend to take next week to work a puzzle and read a book.  Ahhhhhhhh.  When I get home I'll have to tackle the personal taxes.  Big UGH:  I've never done them, so it's going to be a big bear for me.  For now I'm going to live in the moment and enjoy it while I can.  God bless.

Okay, I DID it!  I walked over at the lake today.  I cried the whole way, but I probably needed a good cry.  I didn't cry all the way back.  I was so pleased that I had done it.  It was a good outing in the beautiful outdoors.  I loved getting outside in the sunshine!  It was way better than walking with Tread (Mill).   I wore my knee bands for the first time today in two weeks.  I felt like I needed them since I didn't have Tread to  hold onto.  The sticks helped to steady me, for sure!  I had quit wearing the bands because I think I was wearing them too tight and that was what caused my ankles to swell.  (Thanks, Judy, for that suggestion; I think you were right!)   I'll just wear them when I'm going to be up on my feet for a long time.  Judging by the time I was walking and the distances marked on the trails, I think I walked about 3 miles.  Don would have been proud of me.

Walking was a good opportunity for me to count my blessings.  They are so obvious out there!  I thank God that I can walk!  I thank God that there is a good place to walk.  I saw a guy on the trail carrying oxygen with him and I was reminded that I could breath deep and easily, and I thanked God!  God gave me precious memories of times walking with Don!  I thank God for the memories and the mind to recall them!

I got stuck posting the taxes this morning.  The program froze on me, so I had to stop and send an email for help.  I guess I'll hear from them tomorrow.  I've done all I can do.  My numbers are ready.  I just have to get it all posted and they'll do the calculations.

One day at a time.

Okay, so everything didn't fall into place like I hoped it would on the taxes.  I think I've got it all ready to post online, now.  I was working on that when I realized I'd better do the blog.   Maybe I'll get it done before I go to bed, or maybe not, but I will get the blog done.  :)

I took today off and went shopping.  It felt good to be out.  It was a gorgeous day and I didn't wear a coat; just long sleeves and jeans.  Tomorrow it's supposed to get up to 65; I'll sure want to get out in that but haven't figured out exactly what I'll do.  I might get up the nerve to go walk out by the lake.  I'll probably start a crying fit if I do, because Don and I walked out there many miles last winter.  I'll see if I feel like facing that challenge tomorrow.  He would be proud if I could do it.  All I read about grief says that crying is good for me.  Probably it will stress the other walkers, though.  This picture we took when we were walking at the lake the 15th of Feb. last year.  How I'd love to feel that face against mine today!  I am blessed with precious memories.

My cousin was coming to spend next week with me, but he called today and said he can't make it.  I had seen the handwriting on the wall from posts his daughter made on FaceBook, so it wasn't too big a shock; somehow, I knew he wasn't coming.  I will be at the very best condo of this whole winter trip; too bad someone is not sharing it with me.  I will enjoy it, though.  God will be there and He and I will have good times.  It will be a treat for me.  I'll be DONE with these taxes and I'll work a puzzle and read a book.  Ahhhhhhh . . . God will be my comforter and this is all His plan.

TWO crooked lamp shades!

I was able to fix BOTH lamp shades, Donna!  What a relief; I could easily do something about that!

Today I think I got all the tax information ready.  Tomorrow I'll get it in perfect order and turn it in online.   What a relief that will be!  I just hope it all falls into place like it should.  I wanted to do it today, but I got all involved with getting my files put back into place from the restore, and I DID get that done.  What a relief that is, too.  It's nice to have access to my pictures, again!  The emails are a little tricky because I can't get them into gmail, but at least I do have them.  I can cope with it.

It is storming here, so I think I'd better shut down this computer lest it crashes on me, too!  It's so windy; it feels like home!  I thank God for good memories of home and everywhere I've been.  I miss Don, but we had all good memories.  Those last few days in the hospital are haunting and his last few days being sick at home, too.  But, I treasure every moment with him and I thank God that he didn't have a lengthy ailment  would have caused him lots of suffering.  There are so many blessings in even the most painful times.  The bottom line is that we shared an awesome love and, while his body is gone, nothing can take away our love.  One day I'll be able to say that without tears and he will be proud when I can.

I took this picture Friday.  This is where I sit and work on the laptop.  You should have seen that picture when we moved into this unit.  It was WAY crooked.  I guess they dust and then move on quickly, but I'm sure glad it wasn't bolted down like the one in the bedroom is.  At least that on in the bedroom is straight; it's just now centered over the bed.  This is the picture I took Friday; see that lamp?  There is a little flat shelf about 6 inches down from the shade and it has been handy to hold the camera and take pics for me.

Today I took a 2 hour nap instead of working on taxes.  I was really too sleepy to make sense of any work.  Maybe I can catch up when I finish this.  I also completed the restore of all my files from the last laptop.  I couldn't figure out how to access them, so I'll call Carbonite tomorrow and ask them to walk me through it.  Moving right along; I guess this is how life works.

I've seen some really good things on FaceBook to help to keep me encouraged.  I'm grateful for FaceBook.  I know some folks don't like it, but I think they are missing a lot.  I appreciate the opportunity to share with so many good people.  I thank God for the opportunities I am given to communicate with people who will never be my next door neighbor, but it can be almost like they are if we take advantage of the opportunities we are given.  I thank Trish for insisting that I get onto FaceBook several years ago!  It's interesting how much she leads me in life!

I thank God for His care.

This is a picture of my bedroom here.  I sleep here alone because it's God's plan; I pray that He will forgive my whining about missing Don, and I do thank Him for His awesome care.  (Don't you wonder why they didn't center that picture over the bed?  It makes me want to hang a long stem rose or a long ribbon or something long to the right of that picture to balance it.  OCD!  I have to entertain myself with these little unimportant things to get past the elephant in the room.)

The following I quote from the weekly newsletter sent by the church in Hawaii:

"Me (in a tizzy) : God, can I ask you something?

GOD: Sure.

Me: Promise you won't get mad?

GOD: I promise.

Me (frustrated): Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?

GOD: What do you mean?

Me: Well I woke up late,

GOD: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start,

GOD: Okay....

Me (growling): At lunch, they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait

GOD: Hmmmm..

Me: On the way home, my phone went dead, just as I picked up a call

GOD: All right

Me (loudly): And to top it all off, when I got home, I just wanted to soak my feet in my foot massager

and relax, but it wouldn't work.

Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?

GOD: Well let me see..... the death angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of the

other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.

Me (humbled): Oh...

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that might have hit you

if you were on the road.

Me (ashamed): ............

GOD: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick and I didn't want you to catch what

they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed): Oh.....

GOD: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give a false witness

about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered

Me (softly): I see, God.

GOD: Oh, and that foot massager, it had a short that was going to throw out all of the power in your

house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm sorry God.

GOD: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me ...in all things, the good and the bad.

Me: IWILL trust you, God.

GOD: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan.

Me: I won't, God. And let me just tell you, God, thank you for everything today.

GOD: You're welcome, child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after my

children.

Possible references: II Sam. 22:31, Prov. 3:5, Heb. 2:13."

Where I live.

Usually, I've taken pictures of me sitting at the computer because there is a lamp that will hold the camera.  Anyway, you could see the kitchen and dining room in the background.  I guess I took some in the dining room, too.  So, today, I set the camera on the kitchen bar and took this shot.  I also set the camera on the back of the chair where I'm sitting and got one at the computer from that angle.  I'll post it tomorrow.  This is a nice condo, so I thought it would be nice for you to see it.  That's a balcony on the other end of the living room; this unit is on the 2nd floor, so there is a nice view.  Don and I stayed at this resort last year for 6 weeks.  We loved it.  We were not in this unit, but it was the one right below this one.  Needless to say, I miss him terribly, but I thank God for the precious memories.  I will be here 4 weeks this year and maybe 5.  I have one week left that I haven't scheduled, so I'll see where that week has me when I get closer to it.

It was significantly warmer today.  I walked home from the fitness center and never put on my coat.  Of course I was all heated from walking.  That Tread (Mill) guy really works me, but I'm so grateful to be able to walk with him.  I made a couple of trips out to the car and never put on a coat; I like it when I don't have to wear a coat, but I'm sure grateful to have a coat when I need it!

I have too many blessings to count: this time 4 years ago I was still wearing three big old drains from the surgery.  I was terribly raw and tender from the surgery.  I'm still tender where I have no padding, but not raw at all.  I wonder in 4 years if my broken heart will still be raw; I hope it will not and only the tenderness will linger.  I trust God to hold me as He always has.

Some days things go better.

I took this picture in the midst of a crying fit the other day, so my face is all splotchy.  You should see the other pictures; this one is the best of them.  I'd better get some new pics tomorrow!

Today was a better day.  There are so many details involved with changing an email address!  I'm getting them done, though.  I sent out as many notifications as I could and lots of people responded.  That was nice!  The process is working and I'm learning better and better how to handle gmail.  That's a good thing!  My restore of the old files from Carbonite is finally up to 16%; 12 % is as far as I've gotten prior to this, so maybe I'll actually get to access some of my files.

I was so deep into my issues that I didn't even know Survivor started the new season last night.  Someone alerted me, today, so I'll not miss it next week.  My favorite show and I missed it!  Shows you how tuned in to TV I am NOT!

I'm off to eat some supper and then get some work done toward the taxes.  I know you think I should be done by now, but I'm so slow with these details.  Ugh!  When I get home I'll get the personal taxes done and I'll feel like I've accomplished something!  Freedom!  I really can't relax until they're done, so it will be good to have them off my back!  God will see me through the taxes.  I'm so grateful to know that He is always with me and will hold me even when I tremble; He is always strong.

Frazzled.

I keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I stumble, but I keep moving forward.  I thank God for rest at night!  I took this picture on Sunday, I think.  I was doing my part to wear the seasonal red.   I support the troops any day; not just Fridays.  :)

I went over to walk on the treadmill today and they said it wasn't working.  There was a guy on the other one and a lady waiting to use it when he got through.  I sat down to read while I waited, and then went in to weigh, thinking I'd just go walk outside rather than wait.  I noticed the treadmill wasn't even plugged into the wall!  I went over and plugged it in and it started right up.  Eyes rolling.  I went out and told them it was unplugged and before I could tell them it was running, they said, "Yes, we unplugged it because it wasn't working."  I told them that I've had to unplug it and replug it several times this week to get it to work, but it'll never work if it's unplugged, and it's now working because I plugged it in.  So, I told the lady who was waiting to go ahead and walk and I'd come back.  I did go back later and it was still working fine.  I stumble and sometimes I'm doing things the hard way, but I don't usually give up.  The closest I come to giving up is going to be to get a recharge so I can start at it tomorrow.

So, that's a thing that worked for me.  A thing that never worked for me is the Windows Live Mail.  That's the mail client for Windows 7.  I've gotten it going several times today and then it quits.  I've talked to various support people and they all say it's a lousy, hopeless program that is doomed to not working well.  I don't need that!  I figured it's a good time for me to make the move to gmail.  I attempted to send out emails to let people know about the address change, but it's amazing how many of those bounced.  Anyway, if you want to send me an email, please use this address:  maryjoshnell@gmail.com  Thanks for making a note of it.  Tomorrow is a new day and I look forward the rest I get before I stumble into tomorrow and it's challenges.

God is love.

I made it through another occasion.  I guess these will just always be hard.  But, I've survived.  I didn't even crash the computer today.  I gave up on covering that age spot on my forehead; my hair really insists that it wants to go over my left eye.  I'm just not up to fighting it.

Don and I never made a big deal of any particular day.  Every day we were Valentines; every day was special to us.  I'm glad for that, and I thank God for him in my life and for all the many days we got to share.  I don't want to be greedy, but I sure miss him.  I'll be okay.  I promised him I'd be okay and I trust God to make that be true.  God wants us to love, so I'm looking to find my place and how that's supposed to work.  I thank God for lots of family and friends who have been so good to me.  If you're reading this, I love you!  I'm sure I love a lot of folks who aren't reading this, too.  I'm sure that love is part of God's plan and bit by bit I'm understanding it.

Oh, brother.

Today I was snowed in.  Just as well because I spent 3 hours on the phone with the HP techs stripping this laptop and re-installing the operating system.  Just what I NEVER wanted to do, especially when it is less than a month old.  I went stomping out of here to get the box to pack it up to return and locked myself out of the condo!  So, I walked over and got new keys and realized that it was treacherously icy out there.  No laptop would be worth wrecking the car.  I think God was talking to me.  He knew I needed time to calm down and get things into perspective.  This laptop has never worked well and I chalked it up to Windows 7 and my unfamiliarity with it.  I was wrong; it just wasn't set right.  It really seems to be working so much better, now.  I'm amazed.  It has a 1 year warranty and I bought an extended 2 year warranty, so maybe I should keep it.  I'm going to sleep on it and God is giving me some more time with this weather.  No way I'm going anywhere soon.  It's good for me to be stuck here and think about it.

A computer is nothing to lose.  There are much bigger issues in life.  I need the laptop to keep in touch with all the people I love, but I don't have to get all in a snit over it.  I just have to do whatever it takes to keep it working and remember that there are much more important things in life.  People matter.  Machines don't.  I've lost Don and THAT matters; THAT hurts.  This laptop is nothing.  I am blessed with lots of wonderful people in my life and they matter.  I'll do whatever I have to do to stay in touch, but I won't let a computer crash hold me down.  Oh, I was down today, but I'm okay; this is nothing in the grand scheme of things.  (By the way, my hair grows fast; I won't look like this for long.)

Tough, but better.

Today was still hairy as far as the computer goes, but I didn't sob all day.  Actually, I never really folded; I managed to keep my composure most of the day.

After church I waited all day for the HP tech to call me.  She was supposed to call and see how my laptop was working.  It was barely working.  I couldn't even access my desktop!  It is really trying to be sitting here with my brand new laptop and have it tell me that I don't have access to my desktop!  It was the laptop that wouldn't let me get my pictures, too; not the camera.  I thought the whole world was against me yesterday and it was only this laptop.  She finally called at 5 and we worked for about an hour.  It seems to be working fine, so far.  She's going to call in the morning to see if it's still working, so I'm going to bed early to brace for tomorrow.  We're supposed to get snow tomorrow, so I want to be up for that!  It's beautiful when it snows here!

This is a new week that God has given to me.  I'm going to do my best to glorify Him and thank Him for all the ways He's blessed me.  (You know what?  The spell checker is working; I'll bet that is about this laptop and not about the blogger, too.  Ugh; this computer is so headed back to Wal-Mart!)

Struggling; it's the best I could do today.

I walked my two miles.  I refrained from the pool, because it was cold.  I did some time in the hot tub with the jets working on my trigger point, so my hip and leg are doing very well.  I thank God that my hip and leg are doing well!

After that the day went downhill.  My NEW computer crashed and I had to call HP tech support to get it going, again.  Some barely English speaking woman tried to coach me through taking the battery out of the computer and the button that's supposed to slide to release it wouldn't budge.  It's a good thing I didn't have a hammer.  Then she asked me to spell my email address and I folded.  I've been folding all day.  Every road I take takes me to Don, but he's not here!  I finally got the computer going after 3 hours.  I thought, "Okay, I'll do the blog and my journal and then I'll take a bath and go to bed.  This day is over and tomorrow will be a new day."  I thought I should eat something right quick, so I went to get a spoon to eat some peanut butter (quick protein) and folded, again.  Don and I used to celebrate our anniversary with a spoon of peanut butter because when we went on our honeymoon we ate one meal a day and had one spoon and a jar of peanut butter that we shared for the other meals because we were so broke.  Since then we enjoyed a spoon of peanut butter nearly every day.  I'm eating peanut butter that Don bought to be sure we always had plenty.  (Sob.)

My hair has been a source of agony over the last few days.  I don't have my 3 way mirror, so I've pretty much butchered it.  So, my common stress reliever is to cut my hair.  Don used to think that was funny.  When I was upset about something, he'd say, "Have you cut your hair, yet, today?  That ought to help."  God bless him; I cut it today.  I've got to quit or I'll be like a bird who picks his own feathers:  bald!  I didn't want it this short, but it is.  It will grow.  It's only hair.  It's the least of my losses.

Trust me, this is the short version of all that's on my mind tonight.  I'm going to close and thank you for bearing with me.  I am so not good by myself.  Thank you for hanging tough with me.  I know there are folks out there with lots bigger problems and I thank God for all my blessings.  Today I just couldn't hold it together very well; I'll do better tomorrow.  This picture is the best I could do.  I took about 30 and the camera wouldn't give me access to the last 10.  What's up with that?  Beats me, but none of those pictures were any better.  My hair is tucked over my ears; it's not as short as it looks; I saved some to cut another day.  Ha!  Now, the spell checker won't work on the blogger.  I hope this is fairly correct.  Don used to always correct me when I made mistakes.  I'm sure you see a lot more these days.  The spell checker even lets some through when it's working; when it's not working I'm on my own and that's a danger zone.  God is with me, so I'll be okay.  Even He rested on the 7th day, so I know He has sanctioned rest and I'm going to go get some with His blessing.

Birthday buddies.

This is a picture that Judy took when we were at MD Anderson.  Candy, on the left, has been my friend for over 50 years; we had our 13th birthday party together in Japan.  She was at MD Anderson with her husband, who has had a stem cell transplant and is doing very well.  That day he was having a chemo treatment a couple of weeks before his transplant.  I was there for my check up; it was the one they freaked out over and had me stay for more tests.  Thank God all the tests proved that I'm okay.  Steve, on the right has been my friend for the last 25 years.  We were all born on the same day of the same year.  Steve and his wife, Mary, and Don and I would celebrate whenever we got a chance; we were never picky that they day be right, but we always got the celebration right.  It was great to get to share this birthday celebration with Candy, too.  Judy's birthday is in the same month, but she's younger than us.  :)  It was sure fun for all of us to share this time and they were great support for me when it felt like the floor was crumbling beneath me when they wanted to keep me and do all those tests, etc.

Today I did my walk with Tread (Mill) and then went over to the pool for a swim.  That water was COLD!  Who needs that?  I got into the hot tub and enjoyed it for a while, but I totally wimped out on the pool.  It's a nice, big pool, and would have been good for swimming laps, but I don't handle cold well, so I skipped it.  I'll probably do the hot tub, again, tomorrow, but I'll probably also skip the cold pool!

Ruthie left me this note when she was here.  I have some wide tape with me, so I've 'laminated it with tape' and keep it where I see it often in the kitchen.  It's good for me:

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the day."  God is great; I lean on Him so much!  Thank you, Ruthie!  What do people without sisters do???

Another day, another 2 miles with Tread.

This is a shot of me sitting at the computer. You can see behind me the kitchen and a bit of the dining room. Around the corner from me is Ruthie and Phil's room. Mom wouldn't let her leave the bed unmade, of course. My room is down the hall the other direction. It's a nice place; very comfortable.

I walked another 2 miles today. I decided not to go the whole 3. I was glad to learn yesterday that I could do 3 miles, but I was also smart enough to know that it made my leg hurt! So, I stopped at 2 today. I really can't say I've gotten anything else done today. I sat down to watch a movie and fell asleep. Movies and sitting do that to me. So, I should be able to get some work done on the taxes tonight. I keep saying that, but I keep finding distractions. I've really got to get it done.

I thank God for so many blessings. I get real busy feeling sorry for myself and there should be no focus in my life on anything except the rich blessings He has given me. God is so good! Thank you all for being on my list of rich blessings!

Muddled through another day.

I took this picture a couple of days ago with my buddy, Tread.  Tread Mill is a fellow who walks me every day.  I brought some large print Guideposts with me, and I'm enjoying reading them as I walk.  today, I even watched the TV while I walked.  I walked 3 miles, which is my most ambitious walk in a long time.  My right leg is really griping about it, too.  I'm going to treat it with some time on the NUBAX (which, of course, I brought with me), a good hot bath and then go to bed early.  Tomorrow I'll be all good, again; rest is amazing!

Today I met with the folks here and managed to not buy any time with them.  I'm getting good at this; I sure don't need anymore timeshares, so it's not so hard to say no.  They were very nice.  This is a nice place, but I can stay here without owning it; I appreciate their being nice about it.

Then I ventured out to do some shopping.  I was hoping to find some Crocs that I'd feel a little more dressy in at church, but they didn't have any in my size.  So, I'll keep wearing the boats I'm wearing.

I thank God that I could walk the 3 miles today.  That encourages me.  Today has been an emotional drain.   Every day is so hard without Don; I signed on for the rest of my life and never dreamed that he'd leave me standing here with my old buddy, Tread.   Holding hands with Don and walking all over these mountains was way more fun; I thank God for the precious memories.

Man, things are hard.

I'm so sick of this Windows 7. I go from Internet Explorer to Google Chrome; one does some things and one does other things. Both are confusing. I feel like ditching the whole computer; more and more I think I will return it within the 30 days of when I bought it. It's just a nightmare. If they'll just get my other one back to me, I can do that.

I do thank God for the ability to struggle with it, though. I went to a 'social hour' tonight at the clubhouse. That was a nightmare, too. I thought I might meet some people there who might want to walk with me or play cards. Eyes rolling. Those people could hardly walk, but they play sophisticated cards like bridge. Once again, I'm out of my league. Okay, so that idea bombed. No way do I want to learn a game that will require any sophistication! So, I haven't found my niche. God will show me.

God showed me my calendar today. I was desperately looking everywhere for it. I'd looked in my computer bag about a dozen times, but never saw it. I was about to book a week (on the wrong date) and I leaned over and reached into the computer bag and said, "I really NEED that calendar," as I put my hand on it and pulled it out of there! I don't know if God materialized it into that bag or if He just put my hand in there on it. Either way, I know He did it because I had looked in there again and again. I had been out to the car twice and looked through it. I had been through all the cabinets and drawers and suit cases in here. I needed God's help and He delivered. He'll deliver me from this pit of loneliness, too. He's strengthening me and when I get where He wants me all will be good.

I took tonight's picture yesterday on my way back from the fitness center. Last year there was snow; I had a red coat and a pony tail . . . and Don. What a difference. I can't help it; sob. Some days are just so hard. I know it's real life and it's tough for everyone in one way or another. God has a plan and I'm blessed to be able to be a tool of His. My daddy would say I'd better shape up.

Just the puzzle!

This is the puzzle we finished last night.  It was only 500 pieces; half what the last one was.  It was still a LOT of pieces.  It was fun to find all the pieces of the ladies and the little man.  We named some of them and just had a lot of fun with it.  Those flowers and the trees up at the top were the hardest parts to do, but we got it done.

This morning Ruthie and Phil left for home.   They called awhile ago and they're home.  Home is always sweet, so I'm happy for them, but I sure miss them!  I caught up on some mail today, walked 2 miles at the fitness center and cooked a pot of beans and put them into the freezer to eat over the next few weeks.  I should have started on taxes, but I didn't get into that.  I'll do that tomorrow.

I'm adjusting to being by myself, again.  I'm no good at this, but I'm working on it.  I know that God has a plan for my life and I am searching for it.  I want to please Him, but I'm really stumbling, alone.  I don't think I was ever meant to stand alone, but this is where I am, so I'm doing my best.  God will give me courage, strength and guidance.

So!  We finished this last puzzle tonight.  Phil watched the super bowl and Ruthie and I worked on the puzzle.  After the super bowl Phil came over and helped us finish it.  It was fun!

They are leaving in the morning; I'm sure going to miss them!  I thank God for their visit and sure pray they'll have a safe trip home.  I'll post only the puzzle tomorrow.

A Good Look at 'The Puzzle.'

This puzzle was fun until we got to that big tree.  Man, it was HARD!  We hung tough until we finished it, though, and it's a memory we'll treasure.  Count them; 1000 pieces!  :)

Speaking of memories to treasure.  I have to tell you what happened yesterday.  Leaving Big Cedar was very emotional for me.  Driving from there to this resort was a ride down memory lane for me.  Don and I made the exact same trip last winter and then we spent 6 weeks in this very resort.  They were wonderful weeks and I have many memories that I treasure, but it was all so hard to face this year without him.   We drove right past the places where Don and I walked and walked last year.   I was driving and Ruthie and Phil were following me, so I had the privacy to sob and I did . . . nearly all the way here.  When I got here I straightened up as much as I could and went inside to check in.  It was about 6 hours before check in time, but they let me do all the paperwork, so that all I had to do when we came back was pick up the keys.  That all went well.  Then I had to go over to the concierge to pick up a coupon book (really, it's when they snag you and schedule a tour intended to sell you something).  That lady was looking up my name to check me off her list and she said, "Your husband is with you, right?"  I folded and told her, "No, he's not; he passed away in September."  Of course she saw the crocodile tears and said, "I'm so sorry; now, I'm going to cry!"  Then she said, "It's going to be okay.  Things happen, and it's going to be okay."  I really can't remember what else was said.  I just know I wanted out of there.  I went out and reported to Ruthie and Phil and we took my car over and parked it by our condo and then we went in their car to get groceries, go to a movie, and go shopping at our favorite card shop.  We got back to pick up our keys around 5.  When I asked for my keys the lady asked for my name.  When I told her she lit up and said, "I'll be right back."  She came back with my keys and a huge popcorn container wrapped in cellophane and tied with a bow.  Inside were all kinds of goodies, from specialty oatmeal to popcorn, cookies, fudge, etc.  It was awesome (Lots of it I'll have to save for the kids when they come because I don't do sugar.).  I do accept the love, though!  With it was a note from Molly, the concierge who had cried with me!  It was a tough time and God sent her to help me get through it.  I was struggling through, but the surprise was sure a lift and I had to call it a good day after that, though a tough one.  I thank God that Ruthie and Phil have been here to help me settle in here, and I thank God for Molly!  Every help is so appreciated; truly I am blessed.

Here's what really happened.

Last night  you got the refined picture.  This is what really happened.  We got so tickled, it was crazy.  It was way fun, though!

Today we had a big time, too.  We moved from Big Cedar to the Suites at Falls Village.  We had some time between checking out of one place and checking into the other, so we went to the grocery store and then to see a movie.  I read all of Janet Evanovich's books, so I really wanted to see One For the Money.  Phil was a sweetheart and took us to see it.  We got moved into our 'new home' and I've given them haircuts.  Now, I'm going to go trim mine.  We'll sleep good tonight; it's been a big day, but a good one.

I'll tell you about a good experience I had checking in here on a later post.  It was one of those random nice acts that sure make a difference.  I thank God for showing up in good folks so often.  Tomorrow, consider doing something nice for someone who least expects it.  It doesn't have to be anything big; it just has to be genuine.  God sure blesses!

You had to be here!

We had so much fun working this puzzle.  It was fun until we did that tree and it was really hard!  We were so proud to be finished with it, though, and wanted to get a good picture.  Well, the puzzle was flat, so it didn't show up good.  We cleared off this heavy table and tilted it so the puzzle would show.  We got so tickled!  I had to take 14 pictures before we could get one with all our eyes open.  We were laughing so hard!  Then the Internet connection wouldn't let me post anything.  Ugh! It has been a challenge, but it was sure fun!

I've been so blessed to have Ruthie and Phil here with me this week.  Tomorrow we leave Big Cedar and move to the resort where Don and I stayed for 6 weeks last winter.  It's a nice place, too, and it will be nice to be closer to town.  It's nice to have Ruthie and Phil here to make the move with me, too.  Lucky me and Praise the Lord!  When we were so tickled tonight, Phil said, "I sure miss Don!"  Don was all about getting Ruthie and I tickled and Phil had to do it all by himself; they always worked together so well!  We all miss him so much.

February is here; time flies!

We're down to that mean tree on the puzzle.  It's hard, but we're sticking with it!  Today was a gorgeous day.  I went to an owners meeting and learned a lot.  Ruthie and Phil had lunch on the balcony and sat out there and read.  This is awesome weather for winter in Branson!  I didn't even wear a jacket over to Emerald Point.  I love building precious memories with Ruthie and Phil and thank God for the opportunity!