I came over to the new condo and it is really so beautiful. I love it here. I've done laundry and I'm going to take a bath and go to bed. I took a bunch of pictures of this place and I'll post them on the blog over the next few days. We had never stayed here, so this is a real treat for me.
I thought of something today. I was really looking forward to having pomelos to eat while I'm here. Every year I get pomelos to eat when I'm in Branson. I've looked at every store and nobody has them this year. If you enlarge this picture you'll see the note in the blue and black bag is my grocery list and the first thing listed was pomelo. What I thought of is that as bad as I wanted pomelos to eat, I'm getting by without them. I never have them at home or anywhere except here, but I eat just fine. What struck me about that is that I really wanted Don to be here, but no matter how hard I look for him, he's not here. I really wanted him to be at home, too, but he's not going to be there any more than a pomelo is. I just have to get a handle on that. I loved living in Japan, but I'm never going to live there, again. I treasure the memories of 6 years there, but my life is not over because I can't live there. I treasure the memories of 34 1/2 years of living with Don, but that's all I have anymore . . . only the memories. My life goes on and I can treasure the memories, but I can't live with him anymore. I'm working on it; I'm not anywhere near where I need to be, but I'm going in the right direction, I think. I thank God for helping me get through this transition. I couldn't do this without knowing that He is with me all the time and He's guiding me and showing me things that make sense to help me make sense out of my grief.
Love your friends, Cart and Tread. I need to get to know Tread...I think he could be a lot of help for me!!!!!
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Sissy
Jo, your positive attitude will get you through each and every day heading in the right direction. Don't expect yourself to be further than you are right now. You are doing great so hang in there and keep smiling cause lots of people are cheering for you and praying for you!! :)
ReplyDeleteOops, forgot to sign my name, from Forgetful Linda :)
ReplyDelete(I KNEW that had to be Linda.....her name was all over it, huh!!) I am so proud of you and yes, you are definitely going in the right direction! Who would have thought a pomelo would ever be anything more than something good to eat in Branson! Wish we were there! Love U, Ruthie
ReplyDeleteSissy, I wish you'd come travel with me! I'll be so glad to share my friends. I have the original Tread at home, so I'll even share him when you come to visit me there. I'd be in a heap of trouble without my friends and family. Love you!
ReplyDeleteLinda, it means so much to know that so many folks out there really do care. It's hard enough to be in this spot, but it would be unbearable if I thought nobody cared. The prayers make all the difference, too. How lost would I be without God's help? Gretta called so excited today because you sent Elena a birthday card! Thank you so much for your precious card ministry; you're the best! Love and miss you!
ReplyDeleteRuthie, the pomelos were already special because I loved them and Don always insisted that I buy them even thought I thought they were expensive. It was like everything else; if I wanted it, he wanted me to have it. So, I had debated whether I would buy any or not; you know counting pennies. But, after a debate with myself I had decided that Don would want me to get them just like he would want me to come here, so I had them on the list and was looking forward to them. But, there are none. It's like it's a lesson to me, though. I don't have to have what I really want. I can survive when there is none of what I think I want. The pomelos are really nothing; Don is something really big, but I can do it. God believes I can do it, so I'm looking for every encouragement I can find. The pomelos helped; not having them has been a better lesson for me than the pleasure eating them would have been. If I ever find them again, it will be a treat and a reminder. Yes, I have to be on the lookout because I never know what is going to give me a boost, just like I never know what's going to make me cry. I just take one day at a time. Thanks so much for your tremendous support. Love you!
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