The Hard Cold Truth.

I'm back and will hope to post every day.  It's really hard to keep so many people who care informed; the blog works so well to inform all of you at one time and save me repeating the same story over and over on many phone calls.  Thank you for allowing me to use the blog!  Thank you also for giving me a few days off.  I so needed the break.  Actually, I was never too sure what was happening, and I've been rather loopy.  (That is more than usual!).  I love it that you all care and I don't want you worried.  Remember, God doesn't like us to worry.  When I worked for Home Interiors, years ago, the President, Mary Crowley, used to tell us to never worry;  She said, "Girls, do all you can to solve your problems and then turn them over to God because he's going to be up all night, anyway."

I'm using this pic tonight, which I just took.  I balanced the camera on my water bottle and this is what we got.  I'll admit that I threw away 3 that had my eyes shut or the top of my head cut off.  This is the cold hard truth, as George Jones would say!  Three years ago I had my eyebrows and liner on my eyes permanently done.  I have never regretted it.  Especially on days like the last two weeks.  I have not had on make up since the day we drove home from the reunion in Tennessee.  I think that was the 22nd.  I would look like death warmed over for sure if I didn't have this permanent makeup as a part of me.  There is no way I've felt like putting on make up or removing it!

Now, the facts.  I have fired my oncologist in Lawton because he washed his hands of me.  He had his nurse call me and tell me that he said he had done all he could for me and I needed to call my docs at MD Anderson!  This is AFTER we made a flying trip to Lawton to get there in time to meet with him before he left for the day.  Lee drove 90 and 95 mph to get me there.  When I got there (this was a week ago tomorrow.) my heart was racing.  188 beats per minute.  75 is a good number for that!  I was there to do something about the fluids collecting in my body, but the attention shifted immediately to my heart rate.  Then on Friday I ended up going to the ER in OKC because I was still so swollen I couldn't bend anywhere. Sitting was awful, walking was nearly impossible and I was having a terrible time getting enough breath to breathe!  In OKC they monitored me all night and started me on Lasix to help get the swelling down.  I also met my new oncologist there!  He is happy to work with the docs at MD Anderson and he will do my treatments here.  I have an appointment for the 8th to meet with him and have the Zometa infusion.  We will determine at that time how we will resume the Xeloda.  The onc I fired kept saying we would reduce the dosage, but we never did.  My body just flat got totally out of control.

This morning I woke up at 8 a.m. and my heart was racing anywhere from 165 to 195 per minute.  That makes me way out of breath because it's like I'm running sprints!  I let it go for 2 hours hoping I could overcome it, but it never would stop.  I called my general practitioner, here and asked if he wanted to see me or if I should go to the ER.  He said go to the ER.  I really had fun in the ER!  They got my heart regulated and then they were simply running tests and attempting to figure out how I should deal with that racing when it happens, again.  The PA was absolutely wonderful.  He was explaining to me how I might be able to convert myself (from racing to a regular heart beat), when he glanced at the monitor and said, "Here we go, again; you're racing, again!"  So he attempted to show me exactly how to convert on my own.  After a couple of minutes it wasn't working so he rushed out of the room saying, "I'm going to get meds." He got about 20 steps down the hall and Lee said, "It's dropping!  It's working!"  He went running after the PA and we all did the happy dance.  We were so thrilled that I can stop it on my own without meds!  It's just not safe to let the heart run at full speed like that because it will wear out the heart!  So, we sat down and discussed nutrition, etc.  They kept me through lunch and I was able to eat and do fine; they even let me walk out; didn't have to go in a wheel chair!

I knew almost everyone who worked on me in the ER and I was pulling lots of pieces of the puzzle of Hobart together for Lee.  I had either taught these folks' kids  or knew them just from living in town. Everyone was warm and wonderful to me, so it was a pretty good experience.

This post is way too long so I won't go into more details.  I'll explain more in the next few days.  I'm enjoying lots of pampering and generally doing nearly nothing.  I"m resting a lot, but we're getting done what needs to be done.  Lee is absolutely wonderful.  Bless his heart; what a wonderful gift from God.  My feet and legs are looking way closer to normal, and my abdomen is going down little by little.  I look only 7 months pregnant, rather than 9 months.  Friday in the ER I weighed 139 pounds.  3 weeks ago I weighed 119. Yesterday I was down to 127.  I didn't even think to weigh today because I was fighting so hard for breath. Things are looking much better and I'm so grateful.  Thank you all for caring; God bless us all!