My sweet sister wrote me an email today because she couldn't figure out when is a good time to call me. She doesn't want to wake me from my nap or interrupt a Thunder game. She decided to send an email to be sure I knew she's watching and cares. Never worry about waking me from a nap; I can go right back to sleep. Sleep is still one of the things I do the very best!
I have to quote her: "I watch for your blog every night in hope and dread." Bless her heart! I don't want her or any of you to worry about me. I appreciate so much that you care and will pray for me, but leave it in God's hands and He will have it as He finds it works best for His glory and purpose. I know that I don't understand His plan, but I totally trust it.
I'm being totally honest on this blog, but maybe it sounds worse than it is. I really hope that by sharing what is happening with me someone can gain strength when they are faced with a similar situation. I am in an online support group of breast cancer metastasis survivors. It is so encouraging to me to read of someone who has been on the drug I'm on for 11 years, or find that someone else is coping with the hand and foot syndrome or mouth sores, etc. I don't write this so that you will worry about me or to frighten anyone. This is not the toughest thing that's ever happened in my life. It's wonderful to have so many people who love and support me and even pray for me. I believe all that works. I also believe that God is so in control of my life as well as everyone else's. If He feels that I can serve Him best with side effects or even death, then I'm okay with that. My greatest joy is that He will use me in His plan.
Now, today I was able to plant a couple of tomato plants, a rosemary plant, about 3 basil plants and 15 sweet potato vines. Lee was right there beside me the whole way and that was precious to me. He also finished up the trim on a new door we had put in the garage over a year ago; the guy who did it never came back to finish it, so Lee did it. I got all the irises dead headed and they look so awesome! I also got the sheets on our bed changed. We also ran some errands. It was a great day. My hands and feet still hurt, but not as bad as they did. I could even put my feet into the bath water tonight, so my bath was much more enjoyable. I'm thinking this 7 days of rest from the chemo just may work for me; I'll build my strength and be ready for another 14 days of chemo. I'm hoping that I can get stronger and the side effects won't bother me so much each time. I missed church Wednesday night (Wednesday was my worst day.), but I've been able to keep up with everything else that we normally do. On Wednesday night we meet in the fellowship hall to eat, which is a wonderful fellowship time. Then we move into the auditorium for a devotional and our class stays in there while the others go to their classrooms. It would have meant an awful lot of walking for me and I just didn't feel like it. Lee had just had 3 teeth pulled on Monday, so he couldn't eat anything that required any chewing. We thought it was a good time to miss. We've both gotten better each day since then.
Lee is such a gift to me. He is such a brick to insist that I get my naps and eat. He is super supportive and so kind and loving. I've thought so many times how different this journey would be if I were facing it alone. I know that you would all be there for me, but when there was nobody but me in the house, it was so grim! Lee lost his wife to complications of breast cancer, so this has got to be difficult for him to face, again. He's a dear, and I thank God for bringing him to me; He knew I'd need someone to help me through this bump in the road.
Don used to say so often, "I've had a wonderful life and if it were to end today I could only be content and grateful." That gave me a lot of comfort when his life ended so suddenly. I know exactly what he meant, though, and I feel the same way. So, please come back and read the blog often because there might be something there that will mean something to you someday, but don't worry about me. I'm really in good spirits and in good shape physically. This cancer is trying to swing me around by the toes, but there's a lot of life left in me, yet. Rejoice with me that I have wonderful doctors and awesome family and friends to support me. Together we can do this and give God the glory! I apologize for this being so long, but, my cup runneth over. :)
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