I apologize if I made anyone feel bad with my post last night. If you have said merry or nice to me, I'm not holding it against you! I realize that nobody knows what to say to someone who is so raw. I put up a pretty good front and folks have no idea that I'm on the edge of cliff of sobs. But, when they say, "Have a nice day," I crumble. I was truly one with Don and he is not here, so it's hard for me to stand alone. When someone suggests I have a nice day I feel like they have asked me to be tall; something I just can't do without Don here to do his part. Please, please don't any of you shut down on me in fear of my tears; just be braced that they may come and please excuse me. I keep putting one foot in front of the other and I know that God is holding my hand. He will carry me through this and I will be whatever He wants me to be. He says blessed are those who mourn, so I know that He is blessing me and grooming me for something that will give Him glory. I thank Him for patience with me. I believe that He is coming to me through all of you, so please don't be afraid to write or talk to me! The worst thing that happens is I cry and some say that's good for me. You may have to suffer through it with me!
We had our fellowship meal at church this morning and the young people hosted it with the help of their parents. That was really kind of cool. I love it when they all put on aprons and are so kind to wait on us. It was a nice treat. Of course their parents are working behind the scene and they are pretty terrific, too.
Dorothy and I went to her house afterwards and I 'saw' some things for her. She had a stack of papers that just needed to be thrown out, but nobody knew to do that and she couldn't see what they were. So I read them to her and we were able to throw most of it into the trash. She and I had a good cry. We're on about the same page. Maybe I can keep a straight face for the rest of the day! We know we have a lot of blessings to count, but we're stuck in the grief process.
I love you Jo, and would never be upset because you cry! You just hang in there and don't give up. And you have nothing to apologize for, and anyone that doesn't understand your tears has never had to live through a tragedy. I am sure none of your friends and family are upset either. Love you, Linda
ReplyDeletePS: love tonight's picture!
Oh, Linda, I just didn't want to make anyone who had been wishing me happiness and nice days and a Merry Christmas feel bad. I know they meant well, but it all got to me. Actually a lot of my family is crying with me. Losing Don has been a tremendous loss and we all cry a lot, I'm afraid. We'll survive; it's just hard. I love you all so much for your love and support. Thanks so much for liking the pic; I only had to take 6 to get a decent one this morning. :) I felt like it was important to get a good picture after my melt down yesterday. :) God is so great!
ReplyDeleteThat's a really pretty picture!
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