Oh, man!

Today has been tough! I'm glad we don't know the future. It's all I can do to make it through each day as it comes. Everything I touched today set me into a sobbing fit. I'm going through the motions I'd go through if Don were here and everything reminds me that he's NOT here. I don't know any other way to do Thanksgiving, though. I didn't realize it, but I guess I do things differently most of the time, so it's not so obvious that he's not here, normally. I imagine there will be lots more times like this and they just sneak up and take me by surprise.

I did get a sweet letter from my sister, Ruthie, today. Enclosed in it was the program from our friend Tom Martin's memorial service. His wife is Jane and his mother-in-law is Dot, who are both readers and sometimes posters on this blog. I cried all the way through it, but inside it was a beautiful poem that Jane found on Tom's desk, titled, 'If Tomorrow Starts Without Me.' Oh, Lord, help me! That's all I can say, because God is the only one who can help me through this. Of course He sends precious people to do His chores and you DO help. Trish just called and they are on their way. They'll be here about 8:30, I imagine. They will be sunshine to a dark day. I hope I can get my face straight for them.

Don's mom and dad built this house and the whole family used to come here every Thanksgiving. I was a military brat and we always went home to my grandparents house between assignments, but all those old home places have been gone for years. My mom and dad are gone. When Don's dad died and it was time to sell his house, I told Don that this was more home to me than any place in the world because we had come here with the whole family for so long. Then we had lived here for the last several years. So, we bought it. I'm not sorry; it was home to me, but it's pretty empty without Don here. Oh, it's full of stuff, but the heart that is left here is broken. It'll be better tonight when the kids get here.

The food is all prepared. The dressing is mixed and I will cook it tomorrow, as well as the gravy. It will smell good and taste good. We will give thanks for this family home, for our food and health, for the love we've shared for all our lives, for Don and all the years we had with his love and example and for the new memories we are building. May God bless you with health, happiness and safety this Thanksgiving.