Precious memories; how they linger.

We went out to eat tonight with Trish and her family. This is a picture of Raynie after Robert moved her plate and she wondered what was happening. The kids make life happy, no matter what sad things are happening.

Last night I wrote an update that my brother, Jim, was doing well. My sister had been to see him Monday and he was doing better than he had been, so my translation of her report was that he was doing well, considering that he was recovering from a collapsed lung and has COPD. Well, last night around 10:30 Jim’s son called me to tell me that Jim had come home (in Murfreesboro, Tennessee) from the hospital yesterday but he was not doing well. This morning they were taking him back to the hospital in an ambulance when he passed. This is really so hard to realize and grasp, but it is real. I thank God for his life and for all he was to me. All my life I had the pleasure of having a big brother. He was 8 years older than me, but he always made me feel special. I looked up to him. His body is gone, but he will be with me through my memories and through his sons and all our memories. I’ve said before: one of my favorite quotes is, “How long does a man live? Is it as long as you can touch him or is it as long as he touches you?” I thank God for his good days and I ask Him to help me to learn from his bad times and his struggles; it was easier to learn from his victories, like quitting smoking after so many years, and like his big loving smiles and hugs. His whole life was an example to me, though, and I don't want him to have struggled and me not learn from it.

We have baby pictures that were taken of us when we were each 6 months old. We looked alike at that age, only I was fatter. Because of those pictures I grew up thinking I would someday look like him, but I never did. I was always a scrawny little kid, but they said he was too, until he got into high school. I kept dreaming that one day I’d be tall. Ha! My hair never got dark and I never got tall. I copied him in many ways and did my best to be like him as much as I could, but I don’t think I’ve EVER played 7 tiles in a Scrabble game and he did it two or three times every time he’d play a game. It turns out we were just very different people, but we enjoyed the same family and many wonderful experiences together. I thank him that snakes don’t scare me to death because he was always bringing them home. We did both love chocolate!

His last couple of years have been very difficult, so this was really a shock. He’s not been well, but he’s always been strong and he still seemed young to us. Just a few months ago he had surgery for NPH and he was doing SO much better since then. The COPD kept getting worse, though; then this collapsed lung. He wanted to donate his body to science, like our mother did. There will not be a service, soon, so I think I won’t miss anything by going to Hawaii. When his immediate family comes to terms with this sudden loss, there will be a celebration of his life and I hope to be back from Hawaii for that.

Death is a part of life; it’s a transition from this life, as we know it, into territory none of us have traveled. Jim always paved the roads for me, so he’s doing that, again. I thank God for my big brother and for his son, John, who has been so devoted to him and his care.

I have pictures on my computer at home, but I don't have any of Jim on this computer. I'll post some at a later date when I am recalling some special memories.