ugly

This is not a pretty picture. In fact, Don and I were horrified when we took the wrappings off my arm today. We took pictures and I emailed them to the therapist. She said that’s normal for the arm to look like that after wrapping. I’ve let the edema fill in so that it looks fairly regular and I’m supposed to wrap it again tonight. I really don’t like this, but I’m not in this for pleasure. I send it because I’m not writing a pretty book; I’m just telling it like it is.

You know how you feel when you have a bad toothache or a really sore toe? When I have something like that I get really irritable and it’s not fun to be around me. I was like that today. My cup was just about to run over with the discomfort in my arm. Those bandages were way worse than the arm feels without them. Remember when we were kids and we put rubber bands on our fingers or arms and left them too long? They left a really painful place and we wondered if they’d go away before our parents saw it and yelled at us? That’s how my arm felt; like I’d had a bunch of big rubber bands on it and left them too long. Sure enough when I took the wrapping off that’s how it looked! I wondered if the therapist was going to yell at me!

I went to the grocery store this morning and it’s a good thing they had lettuce or I would probably have exploded on someone. I came home and took a valerian (an herb helps me to relax). I’m not looking forward to wrapping the arm again, but it’s got to be done. I keep reminding myself that this is part of the CURE and I give thanks for the CURE. We’ll get a handle on this lymphedema and I can do it.

We had an appointment with our homeowner’s agent today and I wore mascara. Linda and Judy will be proud of me. I needed the mascara to look alive since my arm was really bothering me. Thank God for mascara and the cure, even when it hurts.