Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Man, things are hard.


I'm so sick of this Windows 7. I go from Internet Explorer to Google Chrome; one does some things and one does other things. Both are confusing. I feel like ditching the whole computer; more and more I think I will return it within the 30 days of when I bought it. It's just a nightmare. If they'll just get my other one back to me, I can do that.

I do thank God for the ability to struggle with it, though. I went to a 'social hour' tonight at the clubhouse. That was a nightmare, too. I thought I might meet some people there who might want to walk with me or play cards. Eyes rolling. Those people could hardly walk, but they play sophisticated cards like bridge. Once again, I'm out of my league. Okay, so that idea bombed. No way do I want to learn a game that will require any sophistication! So, I haven't found my niche. God will show me.

God showed me my calendar today. I was desperately looking everywhere for it. I'd looked in my computer bag about a dozen times, but never saw it. I was about to book a week (on the wrong date) and I leaned over and reached into the computer bag and said, "I really NEED that calendar," as I put my hand on it and pulled it out of there! I don't know if God materialized it into that bag or if He just put my hand in there on it. Either way, I know He did it because I had looked in there again and again. I had been out to the car twice and looked through it. I had been through all the cabinets and drawers and suit cases in here. I needed God's help and He delivered. He'll deliver me from this pit of loneliness, too. He's strengthening me and when I get where He wants me all will be good.

I took tonight's picture yesterday on my way back from the fitness center. Last year there was snow; I had a red coat and a pony tail . . . and Don. What a difference. I can't help it; sob. Some days are just so hard. I know it's real life and it's tough for everyone in one way or another. God has a plan and I'm blessed to be able to be a tool of His. My daddy would say I'd better shape up.

2 comments:

  1. Oh Jo you bring back memories. I checked out the Senior Zone here, it's for people 50-55 yrs and up.....I'd like to know where the "younger people" are! I'm old but my goodness I guess I'm not ready for that. This summer during what I call my "crazy time" I was always losing things and went thru the same things you were doing looking for them and lo and behold I would find them in a place I had looked several times usually in plain sight!!!!!

    As to what your daddy would say.....I'm sorry but on this he didn't know. Wish it was that easy. I believe we will always have a deep sadness in us, always have some tears at times, and even sob some but we can also experience joy and happiness in our "new" life with time and God's help. What we are going thru is not something we can shape up on command but something that takes time...a lot of time. You are moving in the right direction, you are going places and being around friends. So hang in there. You are in a place that has a lot of memories so the first time there is going to be extra hard.

    Luv ya
    Sissy

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  2. Sweet Sissy, you always come through for me. I imagine Daddy would have had something better to say, but he never knew me in this position. I just know whenever I was fumbling he'd say, "Shape up." I imagine he really would be more compassionate, now, and he'd come up with something better. You sure did! It's good to have someone who understands. It also feels better knowing someone else has done the same dumb things . . . and survived. I do manage joyful times when others are around. it's so grim, alone, though. I'll keep on plugging. God helps and He sure has given me time, so I expect He wants me to do something with it.

    We sure wished you were here while Ruthie and Phil were here! We did have some joyful times and you would have made it even better. Phil still says he's coming to cut my trees, so I'm hoping you'll be able to come up to help!

    Sure love you! You can still come here if you can, but come for a week or so!

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